Let's just live it.

The quiet lies -

we don't need to talk about it anymore
Don't need to figure out the truth

Don't need to look inside our heads and in our hearts

Don't need to see where things went wrong from
who we could be.

Let's just be those people now.

(no subject)

Everytime someone died.

color and breath,
the fast unfurl of carbon away from death

plants that rise and grow,
strange citybomb beneath cirrus-willow.

a touch, a tooth, a pull, a jagged breaking of the skin
inevitable waking of the entropy that pulls without within.
and we are larger,
we whorl larger than the dark designs,
placing hope in all our lies that kill
the pessimist. become the optimist

taproots stretching down again
a Holy vow unearthed again. soil that is blown to bits
we want the paths what we get is this

a single choice - individuality, fractled out over generations of changes
based on one expression.

beneath the bark of the machine
the grapple groans the sightless lead
you sit here in your inner head
the wuther drowning out the rain
the struggle pointless, and in vein

the singsong small-call pulse
of something bright.

Opportunity in the rubble,
Origination from the rubble,
Dead things are not dead things at all.

Smoke may find us, stacking up the daze
This is the same dead answer that directs us now.
One world, one trajectory without doubt
Our optimist kills our pessimist
Day in, day out.

All you ever have to wish for is for what comes next.
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(no subject)

its the strength to be myself through all these years

that everybody didn’t notice

or everybody hated.

I can smile a little because of it now, and because i’m strong.

But a part of me (the part that dreams at night) just frowns and wishes it had been everyone else who had been strong in the end.

All I really ever wanted was you.

(no subject)

You were a sending flower fast and deep.
Your petals moors your ankles steep and i

I sailed away and i drowned in you. I went down to the root of the vine and i smothered in you.

You were the flaming jet of no regret. You were beautiful and bold and you were laid to rest. And i

I held on to you and i held on for you. I didnt flinch and you still stole my show.

You were december when i loved the snow. You were the way that beauty danced and they laid you low and i

I laid there with you in the cold. i loved every minute and the world was gold. And the things that tried to hurt you didnt matter there and all your crazy thoughts were ok and there was a space for you was a room for you and i made it real i took in everything about you and still let you feel and you

You didnt think to ask me if i could handle you. I was ready for so long but

And you left and you never came.

(no subject)

Give me love, not solitude.

Give me something, not nothing.

It doesn’t have to be this hard, it can be easy.

But it isn’t easy. It’s hard, hard, HARD.

I could do it on my own, but that is never what i wanted.

Why will no one ever come with me. Why am i always on my own.

The more i begged not to be invisible the more i vanished from the day, shrinking and silencing until i was the one with the keys but also the one in the cage. And i screamed and i screamed and you shook your head and hated me.

And hated i was no longer me,
And no longer me i was no longer,

And there was a certain silence in death that i miss.

I miss the silence when all i hear is your silence.
And all i hear is a ringing in my ears, my screaming, telling me i’ll never be human again.

The call it anger and i call it guilt and all i feel is sad because every day of my life is just starting over from square one.

I am so tired of them hating what i stand for and so tired of no one changing.

It doesn't have to be this hard, it can be easy.

But it isn’t easy.

"the homesickness you have when you are still at home"

There is space, in the middle of a space,
with time unending.

And I can't put my finger on it
because I heard you the first time; what did you say?

The little eyes so engaged are the little eyes that end averted.

Find me here and tell me that this is everything I've built.
Assure me that I've made it back at the end of the longest day.

Let me feel it all for a moment and let me

slip through it; I never change.

The summer comes in, orange and red, burning softly through my head. My thoughts a fire on a fire's bed and
here they let me down, fading.
I was a child and I had children too. That love breaks down every rule and, at the bottom of it all leaves me -
wild and spinning and still.

The first hello, the last goodbye, somewhere between you can stay inside; can you stay inside?
Shut the shutters and keep the key and keep the good times secretly but at the bottom of it,
all of it leaves me.

Eyes open and explore the room. Out the window, to the moon.
Breakfast on the go and never stopping.
The summer sun is hot ahead, race it to the trees and
never look back.
A snack a break, some lemonade - cool reclining in the shade
looking back over the melting ice inside the bowl.
Up and onward through the creek, dancing upwards to the peaks, a day a week a month it seems,
sprawled on green grass letting it all in.
And then again.

The only time we reign it is is when we want to try to reign it in,
keeping and reclaiming what we can't.

I loved but even eventually
my loves each loved other loves
and full I just wanted to go home.