August 12th, 2010



Hello world.
I hope, I tried, to fix you.
Did you see? Just a glimpse of what life is?
You deserve to see.
I tried so hard to show you.
Everything I am wanted for you to see so badly.

When you wake up, and you question who you are
but only in those subtle, abstract terms and thoughts,
as if pinning down your question would pin down your

When you see that world, and you dont know how to reach it,
and restfulness stays near you but you're outside yourself, unable to
touch it, reach it, grab it, know that that world you see is your world.

You are there. You have always been a part of there.

When I first saw you I loved you.
And as I saw you I loved you every bit as much.
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(no subject)

Life's really been trying to get me down this week. My dorm gave me trouble and now I don't have a consistant place to stay for two weeks. My credit card's been acting up so I don't necessairly have money at the moment. My phone disappeared and it's proving a real hassle to replace.

I felt a bit like a hypocrite yesterday when I really let myself get down because of it. Even now, it feels like I should be depressed, stressed, and anxious. I found myself trying to convince myself that 'this happened for a reason' and 'just gotta get through these next two weeks and things'll be okay'.

But you know what? thats wrong. things ARE okay. If not having a phone (aka not having contact with everyone) is stressing me out this much, then its a darn good thing my phone got lost, so I can deal with this stress. Because i am not entitled to it. I am entitled to accept these 'setbacks' with cool composition. This is life. This is who I am.

On another note: sun and rain cancelled my hiking plans with Katie today.. :( ..maybe i can see her some other time.
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