September 6th, 2014



you were never afraid; never afraid;
looking boldly into the face of day
and you would,
you'd never say it but I knew you would,
imagine dreams that kept you up at night,
held you in some still moonlight that you had found.
imagine who you were, the way you laid.

it was always with anticipation that I'd find you
always surprise you
when you'd have that look of expectant reverie.
life always did remember to take its cues from you.

you were ever afraid; always afraid;
it was the quiet light that'd take you,
and in the making it would make you
and you would never be the same
but a prisoner to your dreams and explorations.

when all around the glory goes
you lift it high in golden glows
you drink it down,
only out of time again
brushing through these lines again
for something new.
and now you let it take you
and softly let him have you
and new words are born.
your lips still cant speak them
but you know your eyes have seen them
through the brimming tears.
time seems to take beauty and continue on
and though youre never done
with one thing there are more things and you just cant think
let your shoulders slump and yet your luck slump and
where have you been?
youre going out at night again
going out of town again
hard to leave your thoughts at home but
homes not what it used to be
(nothing that it ever was).

I wake up by the windowsill
always had a knack for sleeping on my side and falling off.
the glass is cold and warped and old -
but isn't different.
Ive been here before.
And some days I am someplace new
trudging through the snow
and waiting for it to rain for more than just five minutes.

you often take your jacket off
let it lie there on
my bedroom table.


Troubled fingers on a hand of gold,
speak the language of your heart and leave the context on the centerfold.
The trial of too many kisses.
Wishing that instead were wishes,
telling you the story you already believe.
But need to hear.
Filling all the air with beauty without sadness
and taking all the air away.

Crossing arms and crossing hearts,
promises and the break apart.
Love was never in the having.
I only loved you when our lives were done.

with you I crossed the ocean,
I pulled into your shirt to smell the salty air.
the day was hot and buoyant,
it rattled in bones and it beat upon our brows.
I cried out at the sight of you
You parched my lips and drew down sticky blood of mine
We couldn't get enough of time
to wear each other out.

Lying sapped and languid on some beams
the sky never cleared
and the storms kept coming out.

When I begin to expect one thing,
I lean on that expectation hard and never learn.

but bruises are like dusty streets
and I keep walking down the worst of them
looking for another town
another chance for us to meet.

you read a book or take a smoke
and I remember why I always forget
to leave.
to listen to the memories.
instead I sit down with an easel between autumn trees
and paint the change
that happens every year.