I've been increasingly restless. I'm (basically) back in Louisville, and I haven't been in the mood for cutting myself (or life) any slack. Stagnation has to go. Everything that isn't vibrant and new and exciting has to go. There's a level towards which it's alright to say, 'don't give up on your dreams', and still possible to hold onto them, but that's not enough. One's environment itself needs to be incredible and insightful; I've noticed this more and more. Things still are not good enough.
I need to take a day to myself at the park or something and really get motivated to change myself and others and life.
It's increasingly awkward for me to say that I'm alright (as a person) when most of the people whom I considered friends have left me behind. It's one thing to have people that like to see you whenever you make plans with them, and it's an entirely different one to have people who make plans with you.
In my own way, I've been doing okay in my time apart. Now that I'm near my city again I have a higher standard. Everyone should have a higher standard.
Where is Love?
I keep looking for it. I keep seeing it everywhere. I've never stopped seeing the beauty in everything, and it's never stopped staying just outside my grasp. The people around here are the best in the world. But noone's taking advantage of that. Noone really lives that.
I've got to get out of this rut. I've seen it done before. I've subverted it myself. In the strive for insightful knowledge about life and humanity, I've escaped the planet's monotonous pull, but I haven't succeeded in really being who I am.
And that's not to say I'm not still investigating the very nature of release.
I've seen people who are able to throw off all expectations and simply be Magnificent.
I've seen people who are able to undermine all expectations and simply be Amused.
What is it to really fly?
when your heart beats so dearly within you,
and my life shines with a dull but unending light,
where is the solid ground between us,
how can I softly set you free?