There's a lot I miss, I've said this before. I probably live too much in the past, but at least I'm using who I've been to shape who I am.
I do miss relationships, though. Somewhere, life loses its genuineness. I miss the fumbling to open fully to another, and the dancing to understand. All the hand holds and uncertain kisses that are met with acceptance. There are parts of me I haven't had access to in some time--parts that become all too easy to forget are still in there. People really treat relationships with all sorts of formality and pretention. It's strange, the hesitance to let acquaintances in, the reluctance to change from having been on dates to actually dating. Even then, the reality with many people approach dating is one of 'swept-away'ness, without really being intimate at all. "This is my boyfriend" or "This is my girlfriend" seem to confine how we relate to these overly simplistic roles, which belie realistic need, uncertainty, doubt, and love. Even outside of that sort of relationships, I mean to strive for a more blatent sense of connection, even if I have to adapt a bluntness to make it happen.
People are all too uncertain, unsure, hurt, and wonderful to dance around when true understanding could be going on.